Interview with Real Losers, 15 September 2004

NB - How did Real Losers start?
HOTDOG - we met at the weekly tennis after a delightful match
SHAKE - we got started after some of mama's delicate sponge buns and copious amounts of ginger beer. the whole thing got out of hand and ended up in a frightful stickyness
HAND - In a test tube!

NB - Did you play in other bands before?
HOTDOG - no, i was a virgin
HAND - Joey Deacon and the Spastics
SHAKE - hundreds and hundreds, to name but a few you have: catholic boys, flakes, brian clementine jazz core

NB - Tell me about band members - how you like to spend time, what do you do except for playing in Real Losers?
SHAKE - the hand likes pottering around in the garden making tofu burgers and enjoying nature trails
HAND - hotdog likes making wigwams and hugging trees
HOTDOG - shake is a really nasty bastard who constantly rants and shouts at people, and walks with a limp

NB - Your favorite 5 albums of all time?
SHAKE - to be serious for a tick, i like 'psychic voodoo mind control' by the catholic boys. i just love it, is it punk is it garage, new wave?? I don't fackin' care!! others i like: this is modern world by jam, my generation - the who, glory boys by secret affair & jackson browne - running on empty and
HAND - marked men on the outside; back from the grave volume 1; briefs hit after hit; anything thats not fucking mod!
HOTDOG - sparks 'propaganda', geza x + the mommymen, the monks 'monktime', the vibrators 'pure mania', neon hearts 'popular music'.

NB - You are one of the few bands that keep trash punk alive today. Are there more similar bands in UK?
SHAKE - thanks but no thanks! nothin happenin over here

NB - What's going on in UK at the moment - I mean underground music and stuff?
SHAKE - the tweets are massive - bleeps and beaks and tweeks - underground phat beats - jazz-funk fussion!! i dunno ask margret thatcher!!
HAND - dennis is dead! mark's in jail! i hate thatcher!
HOTDOG - sheep shagging

NB - You released your first LP and split with Pop Threat on Squirell Records. Recently you released 7" on Wrench Records and another one on Bancroft Records. Any plans for new stuff?
SHAKE - no, but well observed
HAND - a triple LP on def jam
HOTDOG - if your lucky. if you play your cards write
HAND - Lp for rip-off

NB - How was your US tour? Any weird things that happened?
HAND - jon getting paid to fuck an exotic dancer, chris getting felt by a feeler
HOTDOG - i realised how small Drew from the Leghounds was. i was surprised
SHAKE - smelling paul reject's ass hole. eric from catholic boys is a messed up kid - i love em!!!

NB - What are The Real Losers doing at the moment?
SHAKE - sat around the hand's house listening to flaming groovies and drinking grant's sherry cask whiskey
HOTDOG - chewing an haribo 'tangfastic' cherry gum and as above
HAND - pouring the fucking whiskey

NB - Anything you would like to say to No Brains readers?
SHAKE - hey readers - stop reading just look at the pictures! use your eyeballs more!
HAND - fucking get drunk
HOTDOG - be a retard. read comic books
SHAKE - he hand has the brain of a 7 year old. I LOVE FEBO!